On Being Genuine

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I have never met Connie Miller in person but when I talk with her over the phone or through email it feels like we’ve been friends for some time.  Such is the gift one receives when they have found their calling.  You can just feel the energy emanating from her work, and I suspect this a major reason behind her success.  At present, Connie travels all over the world delivering workshops and retreats.  I asked her if she would share some of the reasons behind her success, and she was surprised by my request.  I believe one of the reasons why she was surprised is that her attempts to grow her business are never calculated.  She is not focused on a future outcome or end game.  Connie moves with purpose, content in trusting her intuition and confident in knowing that her journey is what matters.  And because she operates from within this model she has been able to achieve incredible results.

What follows is her written response to me as I asked her what has made her so successful in her work.

In my mind, there is no substitute for genuineness.

As I sit here in Greece waiting to begin a workshop I thought I would take a minute and answer your question.  You asked me what made me successful in my practice?   The question surprised me, as I never thought of myself as being a success.  In actuality I have been so busy pursuing my passion of teaching and presenting workshops for personal development in the new group process of Souldrama® that I never even stopped to give it a thought. Maybe this is what happens when one is in a state of being and not doing.

Here are a few principles I live by that have served me well both personally and professionally.

Believe In What You Are Doing:

First and foremost, I believe it is important to believe in what you are doing.  If we find ourselves bored and burned out, then perhaps it is a time to challenge ourselves to move on to something more rewarding.  After running the Center for Codependency for 20 years, I found that my clients were “stuck” either in careers or relationships.  This inspired me to find another way and to develop Souldrama, a process that integrates psychology and spirituality.  When I found how this moved my clients, it inspired me to keep on learning and growing.  I did this by completing my TEP ( Trainer, Educator and Practitioner) in psychodrama, group psychotherapy and sociometry.  This took another 10 years after my masters degree. During this training I needed to resolve any old issues that were keeping me “stuck”.

Do Not Define Yourself By Labels:

Don’t compare yourself.  This sounds like “I am good”, “I am bad “ etc.  The ego would love to hear me define myself as a success for then I could get busy comparing and judging myself to others that I think are successful.  Success comes from the inside and not by things or circumstances outside of ourselves.

Be Willing To Take A Risk ….No More Excuses:

If cognitive intelligence is about thinking and emotional intelligence is about feeling, then spiritual intelligence is about being.  In a holistic view of life, we are creatures with a mind, a body, and a spirit—all interconnected and arranged in a pattern that means that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. My ability to understand this for myself has given me the courage to take needed risks.  The integration of these intelligences has given me the opportunity to meet people from other cultures and to share my calling.

Recreate Yourself:

Today we look for the purpose of our individual and collective experience as we have created it and search again for the meaning of life.  We must take a page from within our therapist tool-box and look for ways to recreate ourselves.  I believe our creativity holds the key to our life dream, purpose, or calling.  I, like many others, have placed many obstacles between my creative gifts and myself.  Creativity, for me, is critical to success in that it is the ability to manifest what has real meaning and purpose for you.  When creativity is shut down in childhood in order to stay safe, we remain in jobs and relationships that we have outgrown, that no longer serve us.  When we learn to listen to the inner voice of our own spirit as opposed to the internalized critical voice, we are able to follow the voice that leads us toward fulfilled, creative lives.   That voice is difficult to hear if you are struggling with learned beliefs, trying to control the outcome of situations and enmeshed in expectations of the way things “should” turn out.

If you would like to contact Connie or learn more about the work she is doing visit her at



  1. Doron Loewenstein  December 9, 2009

    I participated souldramaworkshops. Connie succeeds to create in her workshop, exactly what she is explaining above: a state of being, especially being yourself and meeting yourself, and also meeting “other-selves”.
    These are precious moments, worthwhile travelling a long way.
    Being in souldrama workshops, means really coming back to something you longed for already a long time.
    Looking forward for my next workshop.

  2. David Diana  December 18, 2009

    Wow! Israel and Indonesia. I knew Connie’s reach was far! Thanks to you both for taking the time to share your experiences. We really appreciate the contributions and enjoy the conversations.


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