The clip above is the glorified story of what we think selling looks like. In a not too distant past, the emphasis on pushy persistence and power went a long way towards moving people. Today, it’s no longer effective due, in large part, to a considerable shift in how people communicate and do business. All of us, like it or not, are in the selling business. However, very few of us have the information advantage that once allowed good ole fashion selling to prosper.

In short, selling is not what you think it is.Successful selling now demands characteristics and traits we, as helping professionals, we’re trained to use each and every day. In other words, we are virtually tailor made for the new marketplace!

Consider this important find raised by Dan Pink in his book, To Sell Is Human. Within its pages he argues that: You Increase Your Power by Reducing It.

He goes on to say that there is an inverse relationship between power and perspective-taking, and it is your ability to understand and connect with the perspectives of others that makes all the difference in your ability to reach your audience. Your willingness to aggressively promote your services or your ability to take on the role of confident extrovert will more often lead to failure than success.

Why is this the case? New Social Science research reveals that our attempts to capture the attention of others and move them to action are positively impacted by our ability to see the world through the eyes of others. Our ability to accomplish that feat is greatly reduced when we operate from a position of power or authority. When we think we know better or when we believe we hold all the cards, we have difficulty seeing another’s point of view. And in some cases, we simply don’t care about another’s point of view!

What does this mean for you and I? The next time you stop and ponder how to move your business towards further growth, avoid the assumption that it’s going to require a certain amount of chutzpah or authority to make it happen. Your ability to connect with others will be largely determined by your level of empathy and your willingness to put your ego aside and attune yourself to what people are truly trying to tell you.